Crazy Rap (Colt 45 & 2 Zig Zags) - Afroman

He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said

Woo, good morning ladies, you like that shit, man?

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby, that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed

And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns

Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong

Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dale, skatin' on Dayton rims

So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville

If my tapes and my CD's just don't sell, I bet my caddy will

Well, it was just sundown in a small white town

They call it East Side Palm Dale

When the Afroman walked through the white land

Houses went up for sale

Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap CD's

When I met a little girl named Jan

I let her ride in my Caddy 'cause I didn't know

Her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan

We fucked on the bed, fucked on the flo'

Fucked so long, I grew a fuckin' afro

Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right

She sucked my dick till the shit turned white

I thought to myself, ‽Sheba, Sheba

Got my ass lookin' like a zebraâ€

I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way

Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet

I ran, I jumped out the back window

But her daddy, he was waitin' with a 2 x 4

Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right

The mutha-fucker whooped my ass all night

But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad

That's the best damn pussy I ever had

I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine

I'm a fuck that bitch just one more time

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed

And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns

Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong

Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dale, skatin' on Dayton rims

So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup De Ville

If my tapes and my CD's just don't sell, I bet my caddy will

I met this lady in Hollywood, she had green hair

But damn she looked good

I took her to my house, 'cause she was fine

But she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine

I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African

I fucked her once, I fucked her twice

I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice

Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya

I met a woman in the heart of Australia

Had a big butt and big titties, too

So I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo

See, I met this lady from Hawaii

Stuck it in her ass, and she said, ‽Aieâ€

Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch

Then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch

Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky

She said, ‽I'll fry some chicken if you just fuck meâ€

I came in her mouth it was a crisis

I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed

And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns

Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong

Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

Hey, wait a minute man, check this out

Her titties were filled with Hennessey

That country music nearly drove me crazy

But I rode that ass and said, ‽Yes, Miss Daisyâ€

Met this lady in Oklahoma put that pussy in a coma

Met this lady in Michigan, I can't wait till I fuck that bitch again

Met a real black girl in South Carolina

Fucked her till she turned into a white albino

Fucked this hooker in Iowa, I fucked her on credit, so I owe her

Fucked this girl, down in Georgia, came in her mouth

Man, I thought I told ya

Met this beautiful sexy ho

She just ran 'cross the border of Mexico

Fine young thing, said her name's Maria

I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla

I wanna get married, but I can't afford it

I know I'ma cry when she gets deported

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed

And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns

Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong

Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

But the pussy just ain't no good?

And then you're getting' upset 'cause you can't get her wet

Plus you in the wrong neighborhood?

So you try to play it off and eat the pussy

But it takes her so long to come

(Say what?)

Then a dude walks in, that's her big boyfriend

And he asks you where you from?

(Where you from, man?)

So you wipe your mouth, and you try to explain

(I don't bang)

You start talkin' real fast

But he's already mad, 'cause you fuckin' his wife

So he starts beatin' on your ass

Now your clothes all muddy, your nose all bloody

Your dick was hard but now it's soft

(What?)

You thought you had a girl to rock your world

Now you still gotta go jack off

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed