When I was young and just a bad little kid
My momma noticed funny things I did
Like shootin' puppies with a B B gun
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a pussy cat and bash its head
That's when my momma said
What did she say?
She said "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay"
You'll be a dentist
(Be a dentist)
You have a talent for causing things pain
(Pain)
Son, be a dentist
(Son, be a dentist)
People will pay you to be inhumane
(Humane)
Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist you'll be a success
Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque
Watch him suck up that gas, oh my God
He is a dentist and he'll never ever be any good
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis De Sade?
Oh, that hurts, wait, I'm not numb
Ehh, shut up, open wide, here I come
I am your dentist
([Incomprehensible])
And I enjoy the career that I picked
(Love it)
I am your dentist
(That's what you're best at)
And I get off on the pain I inflict
(Really love it)
I thrill when I drill a bicuspid
(Bicuspid)
It's swell though they tell me I'm maladjusted
(Dentist)
And though it may 'cause my patients distress
(Distress)
Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me
I know, I know that my momma's proud of me
Oh, momma
'Cause I'm a dentist and a success
Say aah
(Ahh)
Say aah
(Ahh)
Say ahh
(Ahh)
Now spit
