I Was Hoping - Alanis Morissette

as we were talking outside it was cold

we were shivering yet warmed by the subject matter

my wife is in the next room

we've been having troubles you know please don't tell her or anyone but i need to talk to somebody

you said wouldn't it be a shame if i knew how great i was

five minutes before i died i'd be filled with such regret

before i took my last breath

and I said you're willing to tell me this now and

you're not going to die any time soon

and I said I haven't been eating chicken or meat or anything

and you said yes but you've been wearing leather and

laughed

and said we're at the top of the food chain and yes you're still a fine woman and i cringed

i was hoping i was hoping we could heal each other

i was hoping i was hoping we could be raw together

we left the restaurant where the head waiter (in his 60s) said good-bye sir thank you for your business sir you're successful and

established sir and we like the frequency with which

you dine here sir and your money and when i walked by thank you too dear

I was all pigtails and cords and there was a day when

i would've said something like hey dude I could buy and sell this place so kiss it I too

once thought i was owed something

I was hoping i was hoping we could challenge each other

i was hoping i was hoping we could crack each other up

I too thought that when proved wrong i lost somehow

i too once thought life was cruel

it's a cycle you think i'm withdrawing and guilt tripping you

i think you're insensitive

and i don't feel heard and i said do you believe we are fundamentally judgemental? fundamentally evil?

and you said yes i said i don't believe in revenge in right or wrong good or bad you said

well what about the man that i saw handcuffed in the emergency room bleeding after beating his kid and

she threw a shoe at his head.

i think that what he did was wrong and i would've had a hard time feeling compassion for him

i had to watch my tone for fear of having you feel judged.

i was hoping i was hoping we could dance together

i was hoping i was hoping we could be creamy together