If I Had $ 1 000 000 (Live) - Barenaked Ladies

If I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

Well, I'd buy you a house

(I would buy you a house)

And if I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

I'd buy you furniture for your house

(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)

And if I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

Well, I'd buy you a K-Car

(A nice Reliant automobile)

And if I had a million dollars

I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars

(I'd build a tree fort in our yard)

If I had a million dollars

(You could help, it wouldn't be that hard)

If I had a million dollars

(Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge in there somewhere)

[You know, we could just go up there and hang out.Yep, like open the fridge and stuff and there'd all be foods laid out for us like little pre-wrapped sausages and things.Mmm.They have pre-wrapped sausages, but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon.Well, can you blame them? Yeah!]

If I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

Well, I'd buy you a fur coat

(But not a real fur coat, that's cruel)

And if I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet

(Yep, like a llama or an emu)

And if I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains

(Ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)

And if I had a million dollars

I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars

We wouldn't have to walk to the store

If I had a million dollars

We could take a limousine 'cause it costs more

If I had a million dollars

We wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner

[But we would eat Kraft dinner.Of course we would, we'd just eat more. And buy really expensive ketchups with it.That's right, all the fanciest ket--Dijon ketchup.Mmmm! Mmmm!]

If I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

Well, I'd buy you a green dress

(But not a real green dress, that's cruel)

And if I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

Well, I'd buy you some art

(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)

If I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

Well, I'd buy you a monkey

(Haven't you always wanted a monkey?)

If I had a million dollars

I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

If I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

If I had a million dollars

I'd be rich