I Sneaked Into the Kitchen in the Middle of the Night - Barry Louis Polisar

I sneaked into the kitchen in the middle of the night,

And I found a chocolate cake and I cut it with a knife.

Twelve pieces I did cut. Eleven of them I ate,

And one by one, there was almost none left upon the plate.

But before I finished eating, I saved a little slice

To give to my baby brother, 'cause I am very nice.

I crawled back upstairs and got my brother out of bed,

And quietly I whispered and this is what I said,

As we walked real quiet down the bedroom stairs,

With Tommy sucking his thumb and hugging his teddy bear.

I said "Quick, quick Tommy, look what I found!

Shhhhh! Be quiet and quickly gulp it down."

Just then we heard a thump and a clumpity clump clump clump.

We knew it was our mommy and in the darkness we all bumped.

Then the lights came on and I heard her say,

"Blah blah blah blah," in her special "blah blah" way.

"Who finished up the cake? Who's the rotten kid?"

And since Tommy had the last piece, I said, "He did!"

She looked at him and saw that his face was full of crumbs,

With chocolate flavored icing on his nose and on his thumbs.

I went back upstairs as my mother yelled some more,

"Blah blah blah blah" just like before.

But I knew it wasn't right; Tom was just a kid;

So I told her that the cake was eaten by my Uncle Sid.

Mommy looked surprised. Then her face turned red,

And I bet you know exactly what she said.

She said, "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Blah blah blah blah blah!"