The Secret Life of Morgan Davis (Alternate Mix, 2001) - Ben Folds

His wife is tired

she wants to sleep

but all that Morgan Davis wants is cream of wheat

he wakes and then she turns out the light

he tiptoes through the darkness and slips into the night

the boring life that he leads of buying and

selling stocks makes him feel

he's growing old and tired there's no joy in life

just the passing time in this boring life

he wants the lights the jazz

a piece of ass

a toothless bitch to blow him for a vial of crack

he cooks the junk in some Gatorade

he scores a bag of chronic on the east mlk

the secret life that he leads of buying and

selling drugs keeps him up at night

he's selling hash screwing trailer trash

and he's making cash

it's a whoring life

my friends are all salesman

my wife is a slut

there must be something bigger I can stick in my butt

the IRS is auditing

my life's in a rut!

And so he's fired his heat

he's blowed his blow

it's coming up on sunrise and it's time to go

he smells like barf his hair's a mess

he wipes the coke and lipstick off his fat hairy chest

he stumbles home from a lezzie show

he'll be at work in an hour or so

he crawls in bed with his sleeping wife

just a night to break up his boring life