Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic - Daniel Ingram

Flim: There's ailments all around us in everything we touch and see

Flam: A sickness that lies waiting there in every breath you breathe

Flim: Disease will up and grab you as it crawls from land and sea

Flam: It's amazing how infected that the natural world and all its things can be

Flim: Now I understand that some of you don't think you're sick.

Flam: But twisted hooves and aching joints don't heal all that quick.

Flim: Consider just how dangerous this world is! You might...

Flam: Slip and fall, break or sprain something here tonight

Flim and Flam: But luckily for you, we've got the thing you need

And it's easier when all you need's the cure

The Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic

Is just what the doctor ordered, I'm sure

Flim: Now I know our claims seem fantastical.

Flam: Impractical.

Flim: Improbable.

Flam: Impossible.

Flim and Flam: And magical!

Flim: So we welcome every suffering pony to make their way up to the

stage.

Flam: Now don't crowd.

Flim: And we'll prove our tonic's effectiveness before your very eyes.

Flam: You there! Come up here, good sir.

Flim: I'll wager you're tired of those crutches, my friend.

Flam: Try taking a sip of this!

Flim and Flam: That's why you're so lucky we've got the thing for you

Just come on up, we've always got some more

Of the Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic

Silver Shill: I won't need these crutches to dance out the door

Granny Smith: Now how do ya like that?

Applejack: I don't. There's somethin' funny about this whole thing.

Flim: Now some of you may suffer from feelings of despair

You're old, you're tired, your legs won't work, there's graying in your hair

Flam: Just listen and I'll tell you that you don't need to fear

Your ears will work, your muscles tone, your eyes will see so clear

Crowd: Luckily for us, you've got the thing we need

The answer to our problems in a jar

The Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic

Is the greatest ever miracle by far!

Tonic... tonic... tonic...

Flim: It cures the reins, the spurs, and the Clydesdale fur blight.

Flam: Hooferia and horsentery cured in just a night.

Flim: You've got swollen hooves and hindquarters or terrible bridle-bit cleft.

Flam: Saunter sitz and gallop plop will give your tail some heft.

Flim: Mane loss, hay fever, or terrible tonsillitis.

Flam: You heard it here, folks -- this is the only place in all of Equestria you'll find it!

Flim: It can make you shorter, taller, or even grow old

Flam: But who'd want that?

Flim: When with one drink

Flim and Flam: You can be young again--

Granny Smith: SOLD!