The Real Slim Shady - Eminem

May I have your attention, please

May I have your attention, please

Will the real Slim Shady, please stand up

I repeat, will the real Slim Shady, please stand up

We're gonna have a problem here

Ya'll act like you never seen, a white person before

Jaws all on the floor, like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door

And started whoopin' her ass, worse than before

They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (Ahh)

It's the return of the, oh wait, no way, you're kidding

He didn't just say, what I think he did, did he

And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!

Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (Haha)

Feminist women love Eminem

Chicka-chicka-chicka Slim Shady, I'm sick of him

Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you know what

Flippin' to you know who, yeah but he's so cute though

Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose

But no worse, than what's goin' on in your parents bedrooms (Eh-eh-eh)

Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't

But it's cool for Tom Green, to hump a dead moose

My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips

And if I'm lucky you might, just give it a little kiss

And that's the message, that we deliver to little kids

And expect them not to know, what a woman's clitoris is

Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is

By the time they hit fourth grade, they got the Discovery Channel don't they

We ain't nothin' but mammals, well some of us are cannibals

Who cut other people open like cantaloupes

But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes

Then there's no reason that a man, and another man can't elope (Eww)

But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote

Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chores and it goes

I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps, to sell records

Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too

You think I give a damn about a Grammy?

Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me

But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird

Why, so you guys can just lie to get me here

So you can, sit me here next to

Britney Spears?

Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch the chairs so

I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst

And hear 'em argue over, who she gave head to first

Little bitch put me on blast, on MTV

Yeah he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hehe

I should download an audio on mp3

And show the whole world, how you gave Eminem VD (Ahh)

I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me

So I have been sent here, to destroy you

And there's a million of us just like me

Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me

Who dress like me, walk talk and act like me

You just might be, the next best thing, but not quite me

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up

I'm like a head trip to listen to, 'cause I'm only givin' you

Things you joke about with your friends, inside your livin' room

The only difference is I got the balls to say it, in front of ya'll

And I don't gotta be false, or sugar-coat it at all

I just get on the mic and spit it

And whether you like to admit it, [(Rip)] I just shit it

Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can

Then you wonder how can kids, eat up these albums like Valiums it's funny

'Cause at the rate I'm goin', when I'm thirty

I'll be the only person, in the nursin' home flirting

Pinchin' nurses asses, while I'm jackin' off with Jergens

And I'm jerkin', but this whole bag of Viagra isn't workin'

In every single person there's a Slim Shady lurkin'

Who could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings

Or in the parkin' lot circling, screamin' I don't give a fuck

With his windows down, and his system up

So will the real Shady, please stand up

And put one of those fingers, on each hand up

And be proud to be outta your mind, and outta control

And one more time loud as you can, how's it go?

I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up

Haha, guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us

Fuck it, let's all stand up