Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner - Epic Rap Battles of History

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

BRUCE BANNER

VERSUS

BRUCE JENNER

BEGIN

(Bruce Banner)

I'll school you in this battle of the baddest Bruce

with your He-Man haircut and your Daisy Dukes

I hear you're good at running; you're just like the Flash

especially in the 100 meter ditch-your-wife dash

I'm an ace in the lab; acid, base and treble

so let me break you down on a molecular level

you turned one gold medal to a lifetime of green

the most overrated athlete anyone's ever seen

you need to carry fatherhood across that finish line

(Urgh!) kept up with the Kardashians, but left some kids behind

now run along, you'll thank me 'cause I'm getting kinda cranky

amd trust me, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry

(Bruce Jenner)

I think you're in your element when you're behaving badly

honestly, you're kinda boron when you're happy

I'll lap and pass your assistance ten different ways

decathlon athlete, blast through you like some gamma rays

the truth is, there's truce between the Bruces

you're a drifter being useless; I'm a winner no excuses

(Uh!) beautiful women all up on my jock

I got a home gym; check me on a cereal box, Doc

you big green freak don't try to flex

if it wasn't for your cousin, you'd never have sex

(Oh!) you're so strong when you get mad

too bad you can't go back and protect you mom from your dad

transition sequence

(the Hulk)

URRRGH! THAT PAINTED FACE DON'T GIVE YOU CLASS

JUST ONE MORE THING BRUCE DO FOR CASH

BEST THING YOU MAKE: KYLIE ASS

SHE EIGHTEEN? HULK SMASH!!!

(Caitlyn Jenner)

That's my teenage daughter, man, I have to forbid this

I'll put a javelin through your jolly green discus

Kylie not the type of girl I'mma let you smash on

you'll get the medal without the decathlon

(the Hulk)

ARRGH! HULK IS HULK; NO IDENTIFY AS MAN

ME THINKS CAIT MIGHT UNDERSTAND

NO GENDER ISSUE; THIS JENNER ISSUE

JUST YOU BEING YOU IS ENOUGH TO DISS YOU!!!

(Caitlyn Jenner)

Look I understand that you hate yourself

but you don't need to blame yourself

you're a tiger, stop trying to tame yourself

you gotta be big enough to contain yourself

and get hit with a little forgiveness

be green it ain't none of my business

but if you think you're looking good in those torn ass clothes

you're lying which means you need a new wardrobe

(Aw!) the vision of those shorts kinda scarred me

what'd you just rage at a Barney-themed party?

that's probably not something you seen as a child

not one day did you see your daddy smile

Hulk not strong enough to deal with denial

laying you down, easy, that's kitchen tile

examine this under your microscope

you got no neck but you still fucking choked

after battling me, you're gonna always be pissed

so the Hulk will stay forever; neither Bruce will exist

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE

EPIC RAP BATTLE (RAP) BATTLE (BATTLE) OF HISTORY