"No romance," said Juliet, "I haven't left school yet
We're friends, just friends."
Said Samson, "Delilah, she's my hair styler
We're friends, just friends."
Said Mrs Fitzherbert, "My friend is Prince Regent.
I swore every slur but one must be obedient"
"Who's Abelard?" said Heloise, "He's not my fellow, 'e's
A friend, just a friend."
Said Hero and Leander, "It's noothin' but slander,
We're chums, just chums."
Said Troillus and Cressida, "Don't-a believe-a da press-ida,
We're friends."
When they whispered Napoleon pays Josephine's rent,
"Nonsense," said Buonaparte, "She lives on her own-a part,
In her own apart-mmment."
Said Orpheus and Euridice (but that's all sub judicae).
So guard against gossip and take every care
Lest some blameless escutcheon you blot
Such models of friendship are precious and rare
But the friendship of models - is not!
