BE DEUTSCH! - Jan Böhmermann

Remember, Remember

the 9th of November,

broken glass, fire and plot.

I know of no reason

why our very own treason

should ever be forgot.

Wake up, Deutschland, sleeping beauty

Can you hear your Call of Duty?

The world has gone completely nuts

that's why we're back to help, mein Schatz

Achtung! Germans on the rise,

but this time we are fucking nice!

Authoritarian nationalist dorks

so tough with your torches and pitchforks.

You are not the people, you are the past.

The true Germans come for you! Better run fast!

Ten million bicycle helmets in sight,

Jack Wolfskin jackets marching trough the night,

Birkenstocks stomp the ground,

munching Kebab and Müsli, earth-shattering sound!

Guten Tag, the true Germans are here!

We are Xenophobic's biggest fear!

You call for strong leaders, for fences and walls!

But being like us takes bigger balls.

Cause we are...

DEUTSCH - nice

DEUTSCH - liberal

DEUTSCH - compassionate

DEUTSCH - considerate

DEUTSCH - reasonable

DEUTSCH - social

DEUTSCH - temperate

DEUTSCH - peaceful

Say it clear, say it loud:

We are proud of not being proud!

We are here to remind you,

that we have once been stupid, too.

Maniacs with wicked hair

Ja, ja, ja, we have already been there!

Trust our Teutonic expertise,

we know where assholery leads...

You have an election to vote for the best

but we see it more like an IQ-Test.

You failed!

We've learned our lesson so take our advice,

hold together, try to be nice and...

DEUTSCH - open

DEUTSCH - multi-cultural

DEUTSCH - modest

DEUTSCH - help the weak and poor

DEUTSCH - neighbors

DEUTSCH - tolerant

DEUTSCH - Grundgesetz

DEUTSCH - Dosenpfand

Say it clear, say it loud:

We are proud of not being proud!

Human dignity is unimpeachable!

You will learn, if even we were teachable!

We are no longer murderous vandals!

BE NICE!

Or we'll come for you in socks and sandals

reserving your sun loungers with our towels,

vegane sausage in our bowels...

Hey, you dickheads,

take a good look at these legal citizens

of the Bundesrepublik Deutschland

in the year 2016!

It's perfectly legal for them

to do whatever the fuck they want to do,

you stupid shit for brains.

And do you want to know why, fuckface?

Because they're fucking human beings,

like you and everyone else.

Have you heared of the categorial imperative, asshole?

Read Kant, cunt!

He also was...

DEUTSCH - enlightened

DEUTSCH - responsible

DEUTSCH - we cycle

DEUTSCH - and recycle

DEUTSCH - Weltmeister

DEUTSCH - forgiving

DEUTSCH - Weizenbier

DEUTSCH - never forget

DEUTSCH - Fahrvergnügen

DEUTSCH - freedom of speech

DEUTSCH - european

DEUTSCH - unity

DEUTSCH - Fanta

DEUTSCH - diversity

DEUTSCH - selfless

We are Germany!

Not you, we!