V for Varoufakis - Jan Böhmermann

We are Germans!

We are honest, trustworthy people.

We are hard as steel,

tough as leather,

and fast as hounds.

(Always right on time!)

We are afraid of nothing.

Some of our most famous national dishes are

stuffed pig stomach

blood sausage

and roast horse.

We are known around the world for our beautifully melodic

yet easy to learn language

and for our world famous sense of humor.

(Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!)

When we speak English

we all sound like Werner Herzog.

We are Germans!

We truly are a fearless bunch of motherfuckers.

(Varoufakis!)

Yes, some of us actually do have sex with our closest relatives.

It's an ancient german tradition

mainly practiced in a region called Saarland.

But that's another story.

We are Germans!

Our Gross Domestric Product sums up to 3.7 trillion US Dollars

which makes us the fourth largest economy in the world

Our gold reserves are the second largest in the world.

(Please don't ask where it came from!)

We are Germans!

We started two world wars

and almost won them both.

(Almost!)

We don't fear death.

(Varoufakis!)

But from off in the distance

there comes a man!

Crazed, seeking vengeance against our peaceful land!

Jacket collar raised, on a black motorbike,

he puts the "hell" in Hellenic

and wants to take our pride!

(Yanis Varoufakis!)

(Greek Minister of Awesome!)

(Relentless Varoufakis!)

He's the lost son of Zeus

with a heart made of stone!

Go, take all of our savings

but, please, leave us alone!

His looks burn like fire,

his body screams of sex!

Our minister of Finance

doesn't even have legs!

His leather jacket

is made of skin from German Shepherd puppies.

(He feasts on human babies!)

Even his wife is smoking hot!

(Lika a playmate from the Eighties!)

He doesn't negotiate, he simply kicks ass.

(He wants us on our knees!)

And we can not resist him...

(Help!)

...because he is so totally...

(Perfect!)

...100 percent...

(Perfect!)

...awesome!

(Yanis Varoufakis!)

(Greek Minister of OMFG!)

(Maverick Varoufakis!)

Everytime he smiles, an angels dies.

Oh! Those satin shirts!

Oh! Those merciless eyes!

His armpits taste musky.

Half God, half Souvlaki!

and even plays the Bouzouki!

Oh, he's on the highway to hellas!

He's so awesome!

Oh my god!

Take him off of us!

V for Varoufakis!

The Walking Debt!

His facial expression, bulletproof!

Help!

Leave us alone!

Oh, his incredible style!

Noooooo!