After Ever After 2 - Jon Cozart

If you've ever wondered why

Disney tales all end in lies

Here's what happened after all their dreams came true

Mulan

After saving China I went home alone

I was feeling conflicts in my lower zone

I've been dressing like a guy for months

Now I'm losing all control

I think I am a guy in my soul

I wanna be a man

Soldier 1: I've never seen a guy so hot

Mulan: Time to reinvent the new me

Soldier 2: Every time he speaks it makes me want to sing (I'm so confused)

Soldier 1: Be quiet, or we'll get caught

Soldier 3: Maybe one day he'll screw me

M: Now I really get why my nickname is Ping

I've gotta be a man

I've got the brains and the bite of females

Plus the brute and the brawn of dudes

I know I'm ready for transformation

It's time to replace all these useless tubes

(Good for you)

Cinderella

The prince was absolutely the only single wish my heart made

Guess my wish came true

But we never really talked much

Before he discovered my shoe

The night after we got married

I recounted all of my plights

Of how I fit inside a pumpkin

My canines turned to coachmen

Prince threw me in Bedlam that night

The white jackets say I'm nutty (she's nutty as a bat)

Cause my clothes are sewn by rats (put some meds in her food)

But their pills turn my brain to putty (blarg)

Now Lucifer's not just my cat (I AM SATAN)

Their insulin puts me under

Shock therapy's made me insane

And after years of steady frying

The doctors gave up trying

They stuck 2 steel rods in my brain

Tiana

I spent a bloomin lifetime

To open my cafe

Then I took a dive in 2005

Now it's washed away (it's all washed away)

I was picked up by a chopper

After four nights on my roof

Now my new home is the Astrodome

Cause New Orleans ain't Katrina proof

Ya better carry 'round a shotgun

Or looters take your kids

Ya better pee inside of jam jars

Be sure to keep those lids (ew)

We needed Noah but we got Bush

Our "savior" flew away and hid

Rough seas and levees

Rough seas and levees

Rough seas and levees, I'm dead

Elsa

There is no snow on the mountain tonight

Just sulfur in the air

A kingdom of greenhouse gases

Only Bill Nye seems to care

My town is melting, breaking off into the sea

It's time I show the strength of an evil queen

With Germany and Putin, too

I'll free the penguins and throw you in a zoo

We're going green by spilling red

And if you're not dead

I built a hoard of evil snowmen

We're gonna take over the world

Let it snow, let it snow

Now Fox News will need heat lamps

Let it snow, let it snow

I hope you concentrate in camp (Heil Elsa)

We don't care who we have to slay

Let my troops march on

The cold's coming back and it's here to stay

Tiana: I sunk like a brick

Cinderella: Prince thinks I'm sick

Elsa: Ice is melting quick

Mulan: Now I have a lot of self esteem