That Fuckin' Cat's Back - Kevin Bloody Wilson

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Miscellaneous

Cat Came Back

The Cat Came Back

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Old Mr. Johnson had trouble all his own

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He had a yellow cat that wouldn't leave his home

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He tried in every way to keep that cat away

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Took him up to Canada and told him for to stay

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But the cat came back the very next day

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The cat came back, they thought he was a goner

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But the cat came back, he just wouldn't stay away

On a telegraph wire the birds were sitting in a bunch

He saw an even number, said he'd have 'em for his lunch

Climbed softly up the pole until he reached the top

Put his foot upon the 'lectric wire, tied him in a knot

This cat had company out in the backyard

Somebody threw a boot and threw it awful hard

Hit the cat behind the ear and he thought it was a slight

And down came a brick and knocked him out of sight

They threw him in the kennel where the dog was asleep

And the bones of cats lay piled in a heap

That kennel burst apart and the dog flew out the side

With his ears chewed off and holes in his hide

They sneaked him in a shop with the butcher not around

And they dropped him in the hopper where the meat was ground

The cat despaired with a blood-curdling shriek

And that shops hamburger tasted furry for a week

They put him in a cotton sack and gave him to a girl

Who'd started on a bicycle all around the world

Well, over there in China a terrible wreak was found

She's singing now in heaven with the angels all around

Now this cat was a terror and they thought it would be best

To give him to a feller who was going way out west

Train ran round a curve and hit a broken rail

Not a blessed soul aboard that train lived to tell the tale

The cat was a possessor of a family all its own

With seven little kittens till there was a cyclone

Blew the houses all apart and tossed the cat around

The air was full of kittens and not a one was found

Away across the ocean they did send the cat at last

Vessel only out a day and taking water fast

People all began to pray, the boat began to toss

A great big gust of wind came by and every soul was lost

They gave the cat to a man in a balloon

And told him to give him to the man in the moon

But the balloon it busted and everybody said

Ten miles away they picked the man up dead

At last they found a way this cat to really fix

They put him in an orange crate on highway 66

Come a ten ton truck with a twenty ton load

Scattered pieces of that orange crate a mile down the road

They put him on a boat bound for Sidneytown

They thought with all that rain there he'd surely drowned

When the rain came down for the 92nd day

That whole darn city just a floated out the bay

The farmer on the corner said he'd shoot that cat on sight

Loaded up his shotgun full of nails and dynamite

And he hid in the garden till the cat came round

But 97 pieces of that man were all they found

They put him on the White House lawn, I'll tell the reason why

With all the golfballs flying, they thought he'd surely die

Well the very next morning, what do you think they found

64 squirrels lying dead upon the ground

Gave him to a little boy with a dollar note

Who was going out to sea in an open boat

They tied a rock around his neck, it must have weighed a pound

Now they're dragging up the river, cause the little boy was

drowned

They took him down to Cape Canaveral and they put him into place

And they shot him in a satellite way up into space

They thought that the cat was beyond human reach

And then they got a phone call from Miami Beach

H bomb fell just the other day,

A bomb fell in the very same way

Russia went, England went, then the USA

The whole human race gone without a chance to pray

Recorded Marais & Miranda, several others.

@animal

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