I judge by what she's wearing
Just how many heads I'm tearing
Off of assholes coming on to her
(Each night seems like it's getting worse)
And I wish she'd take the night off
So I don't have to fight off
Every asshole coming on to her
(It happens every night she works,)
They'll go and ask the DJ
Find out just what would she say
If they all tried coming on to her
(Don't they know it's never going to work)
They think they'll get inside her
With every drink they buy her
As they all try coming on to her
(This time somebody's getting hurt).
Here comes the next contestant.
Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you'd do it again
(I'll watch you leave here limping)
I wish you'd do it again
(I'll watch you leave here limping)
There goes the next contestant.
I even fear the ladies
They're cool but twice as crazy
Just as bad for coming on to her
(Don't they know it's never going to work)
Each time she bats an eyelash
Somebody's grabbing her ass
Everyone keeps coming on to her
(This time somebody's getting hurt).
Here comes the next contestant.
Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you'd do it again
(I'll watch you leave here limping)
I wish you'd do it again
(I'll watch you leave here limping)
There goes the next contestant.
I'm hating what she's wearing
Everybody here keeps staring
Can't wait 'til they get what they deserve
(This time somebody's getting hurt).
Here comes the next contestant.
Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you'd do it again
(I'll watch you leave here limping)
I wish you'd do it again
(I'll watch you leave here limping)
I wish you'd do it again
(Each night seems like it's getting worse)
I wish you'd do it again
(This time somebody's getting hurt)
There goes the next contestant