Middle School Girlfriend - Rhett and Link

Middle... school... girlfriend.

Sitting here in Earth Science class

Waiting for the time to pass

Waiting on puberty, and the lunch bell (Boop!)

Three seats in front of me

Sits Beverly (nothing special)

But one seat to the left of her is Heather (Heather, Heather)

My dream girl since sixth grade

Sure, that was only last year

But a lot can happen in a year

Like losing the perm and getting some bangs

Making the cheerleading squad

And developing other things...

Like that beautiful smile.

I wish she was my

Middle school girlfriend!

What I wouldn't do-o-o

To see her in her headgear

In the moonlight

If she only knew that I existed

She couldn't resist this dude!

That's right, I'm a dude

Just look at my mustache

Um, uh, you're gonna have to get a little bit closer.

See it? Right in there.

You know what? I'm just gonna call her. I'm gonna pick up the phone, and I'm gonna call her.

(Ringing)

Hello?

Um, can I speak with Heather?

Speaking.

Um, hey, Heather, this is Zach. What are you doin'?

Nothing. What are you doing?

Nothing. What are you doing?

You just asked me that. Nothing.

Oh. Yeah. Uh... um, will you go with me?

Sure.

Ah... o-okay. See you tomorrow.

Now that me and Heather are going together

We've got a unique bond that nobody can sever

Even though I haven't really talked to her

Since that night on the phone (night on the phone)

And I know she still remembers every word I said

That's what she's thinking when she's perched up on that pyramid

Saying, "Go! Go Eagles! You can do it! Number one!"

And look, her best friend's coming over to deliver a message

Because she can't leave her seat

Even during a scrimmage

Hey, Margaret.

It's Zach, right?

Yeah.

Heather wanted me to come over and tell you that she thought you were someone else the other night on the phone.

And she's really weirded out by the way you've been staring at her the whole first half.

And she wanted me to tell you to... stop.

She used to be my

Middle school girlfriend!

I never got to-o-o

see her in her headgear

In the moonlight

If she only knew what she was missing

That she was ditching the future president of the Math Olympiad Club

That's me-e-e

Single and free-ee-ee

Oh. I think that's it. I think I just went through puberty.