Tough Decisions (A Whale Is Gonna Die) - Rhett and Link

Paper

Or plastic

Presents itself as a decision with an obvious answer

You pick paper 'cause the plastic will end up in the ocean

Giving a whale cancer

But did you know that

The paper in this bag is made from the prickly peckerwood tree

Which happens to be

The residency of the dwarf winged beaver bee

And when the dwarf winged beaver bees no longer have

Homes in which to go, then I think you should know

That they've been known to reconstruct their hives

Right inside those same whale's blowholes

So you

Can weigh

All these factors before you choose to decide

But either way

Know this

(A whale is gonna die)

No matter what you choose

(A whale is gonna die)

No matter what you do

(A whale is gonna die)

Dine in

Or take out

An inconsequential question at the fast food restaurant

So you take it to go

Then on the way home, you know you start to smelling those

French fries, so you reach in the bag

And take your eyes off the road

And drive straight off a bridge

And who knows what's in the water below

So you should've dined in

But if you dined in you decide to shake salt on those fries

With the shaker that the previous guy

Coughed on, and then you rub your eyes

Oh no, the next morning you wake up

With a wicked face itch you drive to urgent care

With your eyes swelled shut then you

Drive off the very same bridge from when you didn't dine in

And did I mention

Both times you hit

A whale

(A whale is gonna die)

No matter what you choose

(A whale is gonna die)

No matter what you do

(A whale is gonna die)

It's gonna be okay

Except in the case you're a whale

(A whale is gonna die)