The Googly Artiste - SpongeBob SquarePants

Squidward: La da de, la da dum, la da doo. La da dee. Ah, it's a great day for the art world. Famous art critic Fredrick T. Nitpick will be critiquing my latest masterpiece. I love hearing myself talk.

SpongeBob: Oh, hi Squid... Whoa! I love your hat.

Squidward: Don't touch it! And it's not a hat. It's a beret.

SpongeBob: A beret? Oh, where can I get one?

Squidward: Sorry, SpongeBob. Berets are only worn for true artists, like moi.

Patrick: You're an artist?

Squidward: Yes, i'm an artist! What are you two bubbleheads doing anyway?

SpongeBob: We're making arts and crafts. I've been learning the fine art of basket weaving. I made this one using designs of me and my best friends. And I also made this cute little scallop house.

SpongeBob: And I made this wallet, and I crocheted money to go in it. Squidward: So, you've been counterfeiting currency? And what's doorknob is two up been to?

Patrick: I've been making baskets too. Darn! This hammer is defective.

SpongeBob: Do you want to make crafts too?

Squidward: Crafts? This isn't summer camp. I am a true artiste. Patrick: Oh man. I'll never make art like you and... Squidward! SpongeBob: Hey, don't be sad. You can be an artist too. I'll find something that will tap into your particular artistic skill set. Now let me see. Oh, this'll be perfect! Now start with a rock. Patrick: Uh.

SpongeBob: A little glue. Patrick: Uh.

SpongeBob: Stick on a couple of googly eyes.

Patrick: Whoa. Slow down, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: And presto. A rock with googly eyes.

Patrick: Whoa. I did not see that coming!

SpongeBob: Now you try! Patrick: I'm scared.

SpongeBob: You can do this!

Patrick: I shall make the attempt! Privacy, please?

SpongeBob: Oh, sorry. Patrick: I've done it!

SpongeBob: Yeah, let's take a look!

Patrick: Behold!

SpongeBob: Oh! Oh! Oh, it's beautiful!

Patrick: I'm an artist!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray!

Squidward: Hate.

Frederick Nitpick: Why, hello, Mr. Tentacles! I'm Frederick T. Nitpick, world famous art critic! This is your artwork, I presume?

Squidward: Oh, it certainly is! This piece represents my struggle to reveal my genius to a moronic world. Witness "La Vista Squidward"! Stunning, isn't it?

Frederick Nitpick: My latest suggestion is "Eww!" I'm going to have to confiscate your artist beret.

Squidward: What? No! No, you can't do that!

Frederick Nitpick: Sorry, but I'm looking for a real artist!

Patrick: I'm an artist! Hooray!

Frederick Nitpick: An artist, eh?

Squidward: No, wait, come back!

Frederick Nitpick: Now, which one of you two is the artiste?

SpongeBob: We both are. It's lots of fun! Would you like to make something, too?

Frederick Nitpick: I'm a critic. I don't make things. I judge things. For instance, I judge your work. Lame. Patrick: Don't judge me! Frederick Nitpick: Oh, my guacamole frijoles! It's so, so, primitive and naive! You're a genius!

Patrick: Is that good?

Frederick Nitpick: I'll give you 500 bucks for it! And this hat! Squidward: Hey!

Frederick Nitpick: You are a master artist, my friend Squidward: You can't give that dunderhead the artist hat!

Frederick Nitpick: Who's the critic here? SpongeBob: Wow! Did you hear that, Squidward? Patrick is an artist!

Squidward: Oh, , selling one lousy piece doesn't make you an artist!

SpongeBob: How many lousy pieces have you sold, Squidward?

Squidward: Well, about... Um, um, well, I'll bet he never sells another one of those ridiculous trinkets!

Ted:: Hey there, I noticed your hat. Are you an artist?

Patrick: Yeah!

Ted: Do you have any art? I have a real craving for creativity!

Patrick: Um... ok! Art! Ted: Thanks, man! Here's fifty bucks! Squidward: I'll bet he never sells another!

Sally: Hey, Ted! Where'd you get that art?

Ted: From that pink genius over there!

Sally: I want to buy one!

Nat: Me too!

Man: I also!

Squidward: I'll bet

SpongeBob: Squidward, I think we should have a little talk about your gambling problem. Squidward: I actually want to go to work today! SpongeBob: Oh! I'm almost late to be early for work! See ya later, Patrick! Patrick: So long, my trusted, yet untalented friend! One for you! And one for you! And one for... I've run out of rocks to put googly eyes on! I've run out of rocks!

Harold: Got anything else?

Patrick: Um, the artist needs a long time! Harold: He's so eccentric!

Patrick: I'm all out of rocks! What am I going to do now? That was my thing! Oh! Tartar sauce! That stinks, too! The artist needs a lunch break!

Squidward: Oh, not you again! May I take your order?

Patrick: Uuuuuummmmm! Uhhhhhhhhh! I'm thinking about having a Krabby Patty.

Squidward: One Krabby Patty Patrick: But I'm wondering if that might be too predictable! Squidward: Then, what do you want?

Patrick: I don't know! I'm not feeling very inspired at the moment!

SpongeBob: Hiya, Patrick! Ordering up a delicious Krabby Patty?

Patrick: Maybe, I don't know! I'm in a creative slump!

SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick, that's terrible.

Squidward: Just order already!

Patrick: Ok, I want new ideas to spice up hunger for my goodly goods!

Squidward: Off the menu? Choose something off the menu! We don't serve artistic advice here!

Patrick: Well then, why is it on the menu?

Squidward: Huh? What?

Mr. Krabs: Get back to work, Mr. Squidward!

Squidward: In case you haven't noticed, this is not an artist hat! Patrick: Oh, you can borrow mine! Squidward: Beautiful.

SpongeBob: Make yourself comfortable, Mister Patrick! Our artistic consultant will be right with you!

SpongeBob: This is Mr. Tentacles. He'll be handling all your artistic advice needs!

Squidward: Mm-hmm!

Patrick: Mm-hmm. Pleasure!

SpongeBob: Here's your Krabby Patty! Shall I put it on your tab?

Patrick: Oh, yeah. Keep it open. We may be here all night! Let me say up front, I'm a fan! I'm excited to learn from a genius like you. My artistic needs and knowledge are in your hands! I hope someone's writing all this. Ok... advise!

Squidward: Why don't you just concentrate on your patty? Patrick: Of course, it's so obvious now! How did I not see it earlier? Squidward's a genius! I know now what I must do! Frederick Nitpick: Brilliant! I've never seen such an example of raw creativity! This piece will turn the art world on its head! I hereby declare this the next big thing! SpongeBob: You did it, Patrick! You found your inspiration!

Patrick: And I'm going to need some more of those patty thingies!

SpongeBob: You got it, buddy! Mr. Krabs: Huh? Ooh, money! Money, money, money, money, money, money, money! What the? SpongeBob! Patrick! What's the meaning of this?

Patrick: It's my art. Uh, I buy Krabby Patties for $3 and I.I sell them for $50. Squidward: Ha and ha!

Patrick: Why is he so mad, Squidward? I was just following your advice!

Mr. Krabs: What?! It was your idea, huh?

SpongeBob: Here's a whole new batch of Krabby Patty canvases.

Mr. Krabs: Great, SpongeBob! That'll be fifty bucks!

Nat: It's so expensive!

Mr. Krabs: And here's your patty! One more art patty, Mr. Star!

Nat: It's such an honor to meet you!

Patrick: I can only imagine! Apprentice! Make another of my masterpieces, good man.

Patrick: If you work real hard, you might be an artist too someday!

Patrick: Mm, probably not. Needs more glitter.