The Glorious Epic of Three Men who are Awesome - The Axis of Awesome

Through the mist of smoke and flame

Rides a man, a mighty lord

His foes fall in pain

Women cry his name

The gift of rock his reward

With a voice that can power lightbulbs

Wound a bear and shatter souls

He calms the hounds of Hades

All the single ladies

Put your hands up

Rock 'n Roll

Under rock and craggy mountain

In the ancient hall he dwells

His piano shines with glory

He sings an ancient story

Of betrayal by the Elves

Wait, sorry. Ancient halls? Elves?

You're making me a dwarf, aren't you?

No, no. You are a mighty warrior

His six brothers, grim and beardy

They saw a maid, as white as snow

A magic mirror found her

Now she's off, they flounder

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work he goes

Ah, thanks. I'm a dwarf then, a Disney dwarf

Yes, yes! A mighty, mighty dwarf!

Man of earth and man of fire

Battle brothers to the core

Valor soaring ever higher

But we're empty, lost without one more

Hello, my name is Lee

And I play the guitar

And I play the guitar!

What?

And so we ride onwards to destiny

Our foes and enemies slain

Fighting fierce beasts, eating their meats

We ride!

And Awesome's our name

Jordon!

Riding on a skeleton horse of fire!

Lee!

Riding on a skeleton horse of fire!

But no, I'm riding a skeleton horse of fire

Ya, you have to pick something different

Lee!

Riding on a skeleton horse of... water!

What? A waterhorse?

You mean like a seahorse?

Well, at least I'm not riding on a chicken!

Who said I'm riding on a chicken?

Benny!

Riding on a chicken!

But why do I have to ride a chicken?

You guys got to choose yours!

I want to ride a dragon!

And so we ride onwards to destiny

On horse, seahorse, and hen

Evil destroyed, homeless employed

We ride!

From now till the end

And in the misty halls of Asgard

Where the Gods watch over man

They tried to curse the Axis for our pride

But alas, we were too awesome

Their powers weak against our might

So we kicked them in the balls

And then they cried

And so we ride onwards to destiny

With swords and weapons and shit

Lightning will flash

Thunder will clash

We ride into infinity!

We fly and don't need a plane

We'll fill you with love

Till heaven and earth combine!

And Awesome's our name