(Heaton/Rotheray)
Only buy this if you're lonely
Only listen if you're blue
If you are married and you are happy
This song is not to do with you
If you're listening at your work place
Feeling small amongst the men
Do not sing this to your workmates
This song is not to do with them
But if you're sitting on a barstool
Wondering what on earth to do
Don't let them tell you no-one cares
This songs one especially for you
If you are listening on your radio
Smiling while you drive along
Tune the band into another
Because this song is not your song
If you're working as a DJ
Leave this record in its sleeve
Cause this one's not for general airplay
This song's for the day she leaves
If you've bought this and you're sinking
And I think that you know who
It matters not the mouth that's singing
This song's one especially for you
So this goes out to the lonely
So this goes out to the sad
And it goes out to the only
One you felt you ever had
If you're there in total darkness
With a letter in your hand
Do not bother with the letter
Just listen to the band
So only buy this if you're lonely
