Overstrand - The Divine Comedy

I reside in Prince Of Wales Drive

In a mansion block named "Primrose"

With constant hot water it's got all it oughta

Behind Victorian windows

But nonetheless, I must confess

I'm looking for something grander —

If you could see it, you'd agree

It's better to be an Overstrander

If one rich hag should like my gags

And drunkenly drag me to bed in Overstrand—

"Stand still while I take your picture!"

I would give her the negatives

If she could deliver the keys of Overstrand

(And then I would evict her)

Oh! To be one of the bourgeoisie

Living in luxury south of the river

I'll flirt and philander

I'll take huge back-handers

I just want to be an Overstrander

If that won't work, I'll lift my shirt

For a certain dirty old man in Overstrand

And I'll see that he is happy!

When he's dead, his will—

Instead of bequeathing it to his in-breds as planned—

Will hand Overstrand to me!

And see that I am happy!

I'll ponce, I'll pander, I'll gerrymander —

I just want to be an Overstrander!

Beware, Miss Clark!

A walk in the park

In winter the darkness can fall so fast

You may lose your way, and slip into the river

No-one will guess that beneath this false chest

There's a gentleman dressed up as you—

I'll fool them all!

The men will call, and I'll make them quiver!

I'll lie, I'll slander, I'll write for The Evening Standard

I just want to be an Overstrander!

...please?