The Vagina Song - Willam

I want a real vagina there so frickin' bad

I'll buy it Tampax and some maxi pads

(I'll take good care of it I promise)

It will come with a hymen, all new and pristine

But I'll bust that cherry like a slutty queen

(With a big ole dick)

Oh every time I close my thighs

My balls they fall right out the sides (of my panties)

So turn my dick into a slip and slide, I swear

The world better prepare for when I'm a lady there

Yeah I would have the whole shabang done

The surgery is not so fun

Put it on your wishlist to give my gash a little kiss

I'll probably pull a little Britney and flash it

And show the world I paid the coins for the front slit

I want to see if it makes sounds when I go piss

It's called a pussy maybe 'cause it makes sounds like a cat hiss

It'll be a couple months since my ditch was dug

Made a hole from a pole, now all I need is jugs (Oooo)

I'll probably get real tasteful like, just kidding they'll be huge (right)

You won't forget about me stupid

Even when I'm old I'm gonna have a big fupa

Oh every time I close my eyes (whatcha see, whatcha see)

I dream my dick will fall off and die

And then I'll get a clit so supersized, you'll stare

The world better prepare for when I'm a lady there

(Oh oh) when I'm a lady there (oh oh)

I'll be buying the panty sets from Frederick's

Louboutin for the kick

Then I'll ask Victoria what the hell her secret is

Toss a couple fingers up inside for the heck of it

But keep the thumbs out, don't be thinking I'm a fisting chick

Yeah I'll probably let you take a crack at it

Love you long time, apocalypse now attack at it

Ooo I'll take some pictures for my Christmas card

Sit on Santa's lap, get that AARP dick hard

And ain't nobody around me

Would think that I'm a boy, no one trying to clown me

It's just a vaginal scheme,

but give me 5's, give me 10's cause it's my dream

I want a real vagina there so frickin' bad

I'll buy it Tampax and some maxi pads (I'll put sunscreen on it too)

It'll come with a hymen, all new and pristine

But I'll bust that cherry like a slutty queen (nice and whorey)

Oh every time I close my thighs

My balls they fall right out the side

So turn my dick into a slip and slide, I swear

The world better prepare for when I'm a lady there

(Oh oh) when I'm a lady there (oh oh)

Yeah it'll smell like clam chowder there so frickin' bad